HAY BAIL
Frequently Asked Questions About HAY BAIL
What the...?
HAY BAIL is the HypoActive Yearly Best Arse In Lycra award. It is normally awarded at the 'debriefing session' following completion of the Murray to Moyne bike ride, an epic cycle relay completing 520km in under 24hours.
I still don't get it...why on earth is there an award for that?
History
To successfully complete the Murray to Moyne cycle relay, a dedicated support crew is required to operate the support vehicles and assist with rider changeovers and other logistical nightmares. Between all of this action, there is inevitably a considerable amount of inactive time spent folllowing bike riders. Add to this an unchanging scenery across North Western Victoria, and you create an environment where only diabetic-related humour can pass the time effectively. Thus, the award emerged as another terrific way to pass time while operating vehicles at around 25km/h all day and night.
Other Rationale
There is no other rationale for the creation of this award. However post-creation rationale can be added should someone link this to something of intelligence.
The Honour Board
2004 Damian Wiseman (NZ)
2005 Bruno Karlin (NSW)
2006 Monique Hanley (Vic)
2007 Dan Seller (Vic)
2008 Chloe Steepe (Canada)
2009 Neil Bennett (Victoria)
2010 Shane 'Rover' Thompson (Bendigo)
2011 Chris Till (Melbourne)
2011 winner Chris Till
How can I get my name on this prestigious award?
A word from the judges:
Basic plain black bike nicks are best, other colours and ones with writing across the back don't show the contours and definition as well and PLEASE, no silver or shorty short shorts as worn by some other riders, its just not a good look.
Get good fitting nicks, comp is judged on best all rounder not just on the bike so saggy nicks when standing will lose points and some nicks can make your bum look flat so maybe take someone with you when buying nicks so they can tell you what you look like from behind. Not sure if those padded undies (like a push up bra for your bum) like you can buy in Asia would help but you will lose points for a VPL (visible panty line).
Wear bike nicks, you might think an animal print G string will gain bonus points but nics hold everything together in a much nicer, neater package.
You can enter by photo if unable to attend in person but won't do much good. The judges spend much time judging each entry and looking at a variety of angles. Perhaps send in a video?
A number of riders seemed to think the judges just have a quick perve but after listening to the conversations they quickly learnt there is a lot involved in making that final decision.
Examples
Good
Darker nicks with little writing are preferred over lightly-coloured lycra. Extra points may be awarded if this writing amuses the judging panel, as in the case of Gavin (Xceed shorts):
Not so Good
Regardless of one’s professional bike riding capacities, points are lost for lighter coloured lycra:
Fail
Epic Fail
Although extra points will be awarded if you are a) Halle Berry or b) choose to complete the Murray to Moyne topless, you will lose points for ridiculous patterned lycra. Bad form Halle, and you call yourself a diabetic!!
